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Who Do We Choose To Be?

Who Do We Choose To Be?

Facing Reality, Claiming Leadership, Restoring Sanity
by Margaret J. Wheatley 2017 336 pages
4.16
500+ ratings
Leadership
Spirituality
Education
Listen
9 minutes

Key Takeaways

1. We are in the Age of Decadence: Recognize the Pattern of Civilizational Collapse

Now it's up to us, not as global leaders but as local leaders. We can lead people to create positive changes locally that make life easier and more sustainable, that create possibility in the midst of global decline.

The cycle of civilizations. Throughout history, complex societies have followed a predictable pattern of rise and fall. Sir John Glubb identified six ages that civilizations typically progress through over about 250 years:

  1. Age of Pioneers
  2. Age of Conquest
  3. Age of Commerce
  4. Age of Affluence
  5. Age of Intellect
  6. Age of Decadence

Our current state. We are now in the Age of Decadence, characterized by:

  • Decline of moral values
  • Frivolous pursuit of wealth and pleasure
  • Loss of civic duty and shared purpose
  • Obsession with celebrity culture
  • Weakening of social bonds

Key implications. Recognizing this pattern allows us to:

  • Understand the broader context of current societal challenges
  • Accept that large-scale, global solutions are unlikely
  • Focus on creating positive change at local levels
  • Prepare for potential further societal breakdown

2. Embrace Living Systems Science: Understand Interconnectedness and Emergence

Everything alive forms nothing into something by creating an identity for itself. This is the dynamic of self-organization—life's capacity to create order from chaos, to create growth and potential where there was none.

Shift in scientific understanding. Modern science has moved away from reductionist, mechanistic views towards seeing the world as a web of interconnected, living systems. This paradigm recognizes:

  • Self-organization: Systems naturally create order and complexity
  • Emergence: New properties arise from interactions, not reducible to parts
  • Adaptability: Living systems constantly respond to their environment
  • Networks: Relationships and connections are fundamental

Implications for leadership and organizations:

  • Embrace complexity and uncertainty
  • Foster conditions for creativity and innovation to emerge
  • Focus on relationships and creating healthy organizational "ecosystems"
  • Recognize that small changes can have large, unpredictable effects
  • Move away from command-and-control towards facilitative leadership

3. Navigate Beyond Hope and Fear: Find Clarity in Acceptance

Long ago I realized that efforts to stay hopeful are a waste of time and energy. Hope is not an innocent motivator. It's bipolar: fear is its other nature. Every time we get lifted up by a hoped-for outcome, we get dragged down when we don't succeed. Hope then fear. The endless cycle.

The hope-fear trap. Many activists and leaders are caught in a cycle of hope and fear, oscillating between optimism and despair. This emotional rollercoaster:

  • Drains energy
  • Clouds judgment
  • Perpetuates unrealistic expectations

Moving beyond. Instead of clinging to hope or succumbing to fear, we can cultivate:

  • Acceptance of reality as it is
  • Clear-sighted assessment of what's possible
  • Action based on present circumstances, not future wishes

Benefits of this approach:

  • Increased resilience and stamina for long-term work
  • Better decision-making rooted in reality
  • Freedom from emotional swings
  • Ability to find joy and meaning in the work itself, regardless of outcomes

4. Reclaim Identity and Ethics in a Post-Truth Era

Ethics are how we behave when we decide we belong together.

The erosion of truth. Our current "post-truth" era is characterized by:

  • Manipulation of facts for political or personal gain
  • Widespread misinformation and "fake news"
  • Echo chambers reinforcing existing beliefs
  • Decline of shared, objective reality

Consequences:

  • Breakdown of social trust
  • Difficulty in collective problem-solving
  • Increased polarization and conflict

Reclaiming ethics and identity:

  • Cultivate personal integrity and ethical behavior
  • Seek diverse perspectives and challenge your own beliefs
  • Support quality journalism and fact-checking efforts
  • Engage in genuine dialogue across differences
  • Ground identity in values and relationships, not ideology

5. Create Islands of Sanity: Lead with Compassion and Insight

It is possible, in this time of profound disruption, for leadership to be a noble profession that contributes to the common good.

The concept. "Islands of sanity" are spaces where:

  • Human dignity is upheld
  • Ethical behavior is practiced
  • Meaningful work is done
  • People connect authentically

How to create them:

  • Focus on what you can influence locally
  • Cultivate compassion for yourself and others
  • Develop keen insight through self-reflection and learning
  • Bring people together around shared values and purpose
  • Model the behavior you wish to see in the world

Benefits:

  • Provides hope and inspiration in difficult times
  • Creates resilient communities and organizations
  • Demonstrates alternatives to dominant, destructive paradigms
  • Preserves and nurtures human potential

6. Develop Unshakable Confidence through Self-Knowledge

We can't trust ourselves to be perfect; we can't trust ourselves to be the best at anything; we can't trust ourselves to succeed; we can't trust ourselves to never cause harm and hurt. What we can trust is our disciplined effort to get to know ourselves.

The path to confidence:

  1. Cultivate self-awareness
  2. Recognize and accept your strengths and weaknesses
  3. Develop mindfulness practices
  4. Learn from failures and mistakes
  5. Act with integrity, aligning actions with values

Key practices:

  • Regular reflection and journaling
  • Seeking honest feedback from others
  • Meditation or contemplative practices
  • Continuous learning and skill development

Benefits of true confidence:

  • Resilience in the face of challenges
  • Ability to lead effectively in uncertain times
  • Authentic presence that inspires others
  • Freedom from seeking external validation

7. Choose to Be a Warrior for the Human Spirit

A Warrior for the Human Spirit is a decent human being who aspires to be of service in an indecent, inhumane time.

The warrior ethos:

  • Commitment to serving others
  • Courage to face difficult realities
  • Discipline in thought and action
  • Compassion for all beings

Key practices:

  • Cultivate presence and mindfulness
  • Develop discernment and clear seeing
  • Act with compassion and insight
  • Build community with like-minded individuals
  • Continuously learn and adapt

Why it matters:

  • Preserves and champions human dignity
  • Provides a noble path in challenging times
  • Creates positive ripple effects in communities
  • Offers personal meaning and fulfillment

8. Restore Learning and Meaningful Work in Organizations

It's better to learn than be dead.

The learning imperative. In a rapidly changing world, organizations must prioritize learning to:

  • Adapt to new challenges
  • Innovate and stay relevant
  • Engage and retain employees
  • Make better decisions

Key practices:

  • Create psychological safety for open dialogue
  • Implement After Action Reviews (AARs) to learn from experiences
  • Encourage experimentation and embrace "intelligent failures"
  • Invest in continuous employee development
  • Foster a culture of curiosity and questioning

Meaningful work:

  • Connect individual roles to larger purpose
  • Allow autonomy and creativity
  • Provide opportunities for growth and mastery
  • Recognize and celebrate contributions
  • Create space for relationship-building and collaboration

9. Cultivate Presence and Discernment in Leadership

Sane leadership is developing the capacity to observe what's going on in the whole system and then either reflect that back or bring people together to consider where we are now.

The power of presence. Leaders who cultivate presence:

  • See situations more clearly, free from personal biases
  • Respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally
  • Create space for others to contribute their best
  • Build trust through authentic engagement

Developing discernment:

  • Practice mindfulness and self-awareness
  • Seek diverse perspectives
  • Question assumptions and mental models
  • Cultivate systems thinking
  • Engage in regular reflection and learning

Benefits for organizations:

  • Better decision-making
  • Increased adaptability to change
  • Improved communication and collaboration
  • Higher levels of employee engagement and trust
  • More ethical and sustainable practices

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.16 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Who Do We Choose To Be? receives mixed reviews, with an overall positive reception. Readers appreciate Wheatley's insights on leadership, facing reality, and creating "islands of sanity" in challenging times. Many find the book thought-provoking and valuable for understanding current societal issues. However, some criticize her tone, military examples, and perceived pessimism. The book's blend of science, history, and spiritual wisdom resonates with many readers, while others find it challenging or disagree with certain perspectives. Overall, it's seen as a powerful, if sometimes controversial, exploration of leadership and human nature in times of change.

Your rating:

About the Author

Margaret J. Wheatley is an accomplished author, consultant, and educator with a diverse background in leadership and organizational development. She holds a doctorate from Harvard University and has worked globally with various organizations and leaders. Wheatley's focus is on developing "Warriors for the Human Spirit" - leaders who prioritize service and resilience in challenging times. Her work spans ten books, including the acclaimed "Leadership and the New Science." Wheatley's approach combines insights from science, spirituality, and social systems to address contemporary leadership challenges. Her career began with the Peace Corps in Korea and has since encompassed roles as an advisor, teacher, and speaker across multiple continents.

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