What Got You Here Won't Get You There

1. Success can blind us to our flaws and hinder growth

What got you here won't get you there.

Success breeds complacency. Successful people often develop an inflated sense of their own abilities and importance. This "success delusion" can make them resistant to change and blind to their own flaws. They may attribute their success solely to their own efforts, ignoring external factors or luck. This mindset can lead to:

• Overestimating their contributions to projects
• Taking credit for others' successes
• Ignoring or downplaying failures
• Resisting feedback or suggestions for improvement

The paradox of success: The very behaviors and attitudes that led to initial success can become obstacles to further growth and advancement. To continue progressing, successful people must:

• Recognize that past success doesn't guarantee future success
• Remain open to feedback and criticism
• Continuously seek areas for improvement
• Adapt their behaviors and skills to new challenges

2. Identify and stop counterproductive behaviors to improve

It's not a question of adding new behaviors; it's a question of eliminating old ones.

Recognize harmful habits. Goldsmith identifies 20 common behaviors that can hold successful people back from reaching their full potential. These include:

• Winning too much
• Adding too much value
• Passing judgment
• Making destructive comments
• Telling the world how smart we are
• Speaking when angry
• Withholding information

Focus on stopping, not starting. Rather than trying to add new behaviors, concentrate on eliminating counterproductive ones. This approach is often easier and more effective. To implement this:

• Identify one or two key behaviors to change
• Ask colleagues for specific examples of when you exhibit these behaviors
• Set clear goals for reducing or eliminating these behaviors
• Monitor your progress and seek feedback regularly

3. Solicit honest feedback to understand how others perceive you

Feedback is a gift. You can't do anything about what you don't know.

Seek multiple perspectives. Our self-perception often differs significantly from how others see us. To bridge this gap:

• Ask for feedback from a diverse group of colleagues, subordinates, and superiors
• Use 360-degree feedback tools to gather comprehensive insights
• Encourage honesty by ensuring confidentiality and emphasizing your commitment to improvement

Overcome resistance to feedback. Many successful people struggle to accept criticism. To make the most of feedback:

• Approach feedback with an open mind and a growth mindset
• Listen without becoming defensive or trying to justify your actions
• Focus on understanding rather than agreeing or disagreeing
• Thank people for their honesty and insights

4. Apologize sincerely and advertise your commitment to change

An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.

Master the art of apology. A sincere apology can be a powerful tool for repairing relationships and demonstrating your commitment to change. Key elements of an effective apology:

• Acknowledge the specific behavior or action you're apologizing for
• Express genuine remorse without making excuses
• Commit to changing your behavior in the future
• Keep it simple and avoid over-explaining

Advertise your intentions. Let others know that you're actively working to improve. This:

• Creates accountability for your efforts
• Helps others notice and appreciate your progress
• Encourages support and feedback from colleagues

Be specific about the behaviors you're trying to change and ask for help in monitoring your progress.

5. Practice active listening and express gratitude consistently

The best listeners listen with their eyes as well as their ears.

Develop active listening skills. Effective listening is crucial for building relationships and understanding others' perspectives. To improve:

• Give your full attention to the speaker
• Avoid interrupting or formulating responses while others are talking
• Ask clarifying questions to ensure understanding
• Summarize what you've heard to confirm accuracy

Express gratitude regularly. Showing appreciation for others' contributions and efforts can significantly improve relationships and morale. Make gratitude a habit by:

• Thanking people specifically for their actions or contributions
• Expressing appreciation both publicly and privately
• Being sincere and specific in your praise
• Acknowledging both big and small efforts

6. Follow up regularly to measure progress and reinforce change

People don't get better without follow-up.

Implement a structured follow-up process. Regular follow-up is essential for sustainable behavioral change. To make it effective:

• Schedule regular check-ins with colleagues to discuss your progress
• Ask specific questions about the behaviors you're trying to change
• Encourage honest feedback about your improvements and areas still needing work
• Track your progress using measurable metrics when possible

Maintain consistency and persistence. Change takes time and sustained effort. To stay on track:

• Set reminders for yourself to practice new behaviors
• Celebrate small victories and milestones
• Don't get discouraged by setbacks; use them as learning opportunities
• Adjust your approach based on feedback and results

7. Use feedforward to gather actionable suggestions for improvement

Feedforward is faster, more efficient, and more useful than traditional feedback.

Embrace the feedforward concept. Unlike feedback, which focuses on past behaviors, feedforward solicits ideas for future improvement. To implement:

• Ask colleagues for two specific suggestions to help you improve in a chosen area
• Listen without judgment or defensiveness
• Thank the person for their suggestions without critiquing or explaining
• Consider how to implement the most valuable ideas

Benefits of feedforward:

• Focuses on solutions rather than problems
• Reduces defensiveness and resistance to change
• Encourages positive, future-oriented thinking
• Builds stronger relationships through collaborative problem-solving

8. Change is a process, not an event - commit to continuous improvement

Becoming a better leader (or a better person) is a process, not an event.

Adopt a long-term perspective. Meaningful behavioral change doesn't happen overnight. It requires:

• Patience and persistence
• Consistent effort over time
• Willingness to learn from mistakes and setbacks
• Regular self-reflection and adjustment

Create a supportive environment. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support your efforts to improve. This might include:

• Finding a mentor or coach
• Joining a peer group focused on personal development
• Sharing your goals with trusted colleagues or friends
• Creating accountability partnerships

9. Leaders face unique challenges in changing behavior

The higher up you go in the organization, the more your problems are behavioral.

Recognize leadership-specific obstacles. Leaders often face unique challenges when trying to change their behavior:

• Power dynamics can make it difficult to receive honest feedback
• Success can reinforce existing behaviors, even if they're problematic
• The impact of a leader's behavior is magnified throughout the organization

Strategies for leader-specific change:

• Lead by example in soliciting and acting on feedback
• Create a culture that values honesty and continuous improvement
• Be transparent about your own efforts to change and improve
• Use your influence to remove organizational barriers to change

10. Monetize results and create solutions to drive behavioral change

If you can measure it, you can achieve it.

Quantify the impact of behavior. Attaching concrete metrics to behavioral change can increase motivation and accountability. Consider:

• Tracking specific behaviors (e.g., instances of interrupting others in meetings)
• Measuring the impact of behavior on team performance or business results
• Setting clear, measurable goals for improvement

Create incentives for change. Financial or other tangible rewards can reinforce positive behavior change:

• Tie bonuses or other compensation to achieving behavioral goals
• Implement team-based rewards for collective improvement
• Use non-monetary incentives like additional responsibilities or recognition

Innovative approaches:

• Create a "swear jar" for undesirable behaviors, with proceeds going to charity
• Implement a point system for positive behaviors, with rewards at certain milestones
• Use technology (apps, wearables) to track and gamify behavior change efforts

Last updated: August 10, 2024