Watching the English

1. English social dis-ease: Awkwardness and embarrassment as defining traits

Home may indeed be our substitute for a Fatherland, but at another level, I would suggest that home is what the English have instead of social skills.

Social awkwardness is quintessentially English. The English suffer from a chronic case of social inhibition, manifesting as a perpetual state of discomfort in social situations. This 'social dis-ease' is not mere shyness, but a complex set of behaviors and attitudes that permeate every aspect of English life.

• Key manifestations of English social dis-ease:
  • Difficulty initiating conversations with strangers
  • Extreme discomfort with physical contact or emotional displays
  • Reliance on ritualized social behaviors to navigate interactions
  • Tendency to retreat into the safety and privacy of one's home

This social awkwardness has led to the development of numerous coping mechanisms and social rituals, many of which are uniquely English. From the famous 'stiff upper lip' to the art of queuing, these behaviors serve as a buffer against the anxiety of social interaction.

2. The weather-speak code: A uniquely English form of social lubrication

English weather-speak is a form of code, evolved to help us overcome our social inhibitions and actually talk to each other.

Weather talk is not about the weather. For the English, discussing the weather serves as a social facilitator, allowing them to initiate and maintain conversations without venturing into more personal or potentially uncomfortable territory. This seemingly banal topic acts as a universal icebreaker and conversation filler.

Key rules of English weather-speak:

• Always agree with the initial assessment of the weather
• Use weather talk as a greeting, ice-breaker, or conversation filler
• Employ understatement when discussing extreme weather conditions
• Utilize weather talk as an opportunity for communal moaning

The weather provides a safe, neutral topic that allows the English to engage in social interaction while maintaining their prized emotional distance. It's a subtle dance of social connection that simultaneously upholds the values of privacy and reserve so central to English culture.

3. Humor rules: The English art of not being earnest

Earnestness is acceptable; solemnity is prohibited. Sincerity is allowed; earnestness is strictly forbidden. Pomposity and self-importance are outlawed.

Humor is the English social safety valve. The English use humor, particularly irony and self-deprecation, as a means of navigating social situations and diffusing tension. This omnipresent humor serves multiple purposes in English society:

• Functions of English humor:
  • Alleviates social awkwardness
  • Deflects from serious or emotional topics
  • Maintains social boundaries and hierarchies
  • Expresses criticism or disagreement indirectly

The 'importance of not being earnest' rule dictates that while one can be serious, one must never take oneself too seriously. This results in a culture where even the most formal or grave situations are often tinged with humor, creating a unique social atmosphere that can be baffling to outsiders.

4. Class consciousness: The pervasive influence on English behavior

Almost all English people (whether we admit it or not) are aware of and highly sensitive to all of the delicate divisions and calibrations involved in such judgements.

Class is the invisible force shaping English society. Despite claims of a classless society, the English remain acutely aware of class distinctions, which influence every aspect of social interaction. This class consciousness manifests in subtle ways:

• Class indicators in English society:
  • Linguistic markers (accents, vocabulary choices)
  • Home decor and lifestyle choices
  • Educational background
  • Cultural tastes and preferences

The English have developed a complex system of unwritten rules and social cues that allow them to quickly assess and categorize others based on class. This system is so ingrained that many English people are not consciously aware of how it influences their perceptions and behaviors. The persistence of class consciousness in English society creates a social minefield that natives navigate instinctively but which can be bewildering to outsiders.

5. Privacy and politeness: The paradox of English social interaction

The English are never so comfortably united and harmonious as when they are indulging in a collective grumble.

English politeness masks a desire for privacy. The famous English politeness is often a form of 'negative politeness', focused on avoiding imposition rather than actively promoting warmth or intimacy. This creates a paradoxical situation where the English can be simultaneously polite and distant.

Key aspects of English privacy and politeness:

• Avoidance of personal questions or topics in conversation
• Respect for personal space, both physical and emotional
• Indirect communication styles to avoid confrontation
• Collective moaning as a form of social bonding

The English value for privacy extends beyond the home into all social interactions. Even in public spaces, the English strive to maintain an illusion of privacy, leading to behaviors such as avoiding eye contact on public transport or pretending not to hear conversations around them. This tension between politeness and privacy creates a unique social dynamic that defines English interaction.

6. Queuing culture: A microcosm of English fairness and order

Queuing is all about fairness.

The queue embodies English values. The English approach to queuing is not merely about waiting in line; it's a microcosm of English social values, particularly the emphasis on fairness and order. The unwritten rules of queuing reflect deeper cultural traits:

• Key aspects of English queuing culture:
  • Strict adherence to first-come, first-served principle
  • Silent, collective enforcement of queue etiquette
  • Use of tutting and pointed looks to shame queue-jumpers
  • Willingness to queue for extended periods as a point of national pride

Queuing serves as a great equalizer in English society, temporarily suspending class distinctions in the name of fair play. The ability to queue patiently and without complaint is seen as a distinctly English virtue, one that sets them apart from other cultures and reinforces their sense of national identity.

7. Pub talk: The unwritten rules of English social bonding

Pub-arguments involve displays of shared opinions (as well as wit and humour) and generate a sense of solidarity against a common enemy – both valuable aids to social bonding.

The pub is England's social laboratory. English pubs serve as unique social spaces where many of the usual rules of English interaction are temporarily suspended or modified. This creates an environment conducive to social bonding and the expression of opinions that might be repressed in other settings.

Key features of English pub culture:

• Relaxation of normal social inhibitions
• Acceptance of conversation with strangers (at the bar)
• Use of ritualized arguments and banter as bonding mechanisms
• Adherence to unwritten rules about round-buying and personal space

The pub provides a sanctioned space for the English to engage in more open social interaction, albeit still governed by its own set of unwritten rules. It serves as a pressure valve for social tensions and a rare opportunity for the English to engage in face-to-face community building in an increasingly isolated society.

8. Home as castle: The English obsession with domestic life

The English simply will not live in flats or share courtyards like urban dwellers in other countries: we must have our private boxes and green bits.

The English home is a personal kingdom. The English obsession with homeownership and home improvement reflects deeper cultural values of privacy, individuality, and social status. The home serves multiple functions in English society:

• Roles of the English home:
  • A refuge from social interaction
  • A canvas for personal expression
  • A status symbol and class indicator
  • A hobby and source of pride (DIY culture)

This fixation on the home has significant societal implications, from urban sprawl to the housing market's outsized influence on the economy. The English tendency to retreat into their 'castles' also contributes to social isolation and reinforces the difficulty of forming community bonds outside of structured environments like pubs or workplaces.

9. Work culture: The English muddle of seriousness and self-deprecation

We are serious about work, but not too serious.

English work culture is a study in contradictions. The English approach to work and business reflects their broader cultural traits, resulting in a unique work environment that can be baffling to outsiders. Key features of English work culture include:

• Characteristics of English work culture:
  • Valuing of competence but distrust of overt ambition
  • Use of humor and self-deprecation in professional settings
  • Discomfort with direct praise or criticism
  • Emphasis on 'muddling through' rather than efficiency for its own sake

This approach to work often results in a more relaxed and less overtly competitive environment than in some other cultures. However, it can also lead to inefficiencies and misunderstandings, particularly in international business contexts where the English reluctance to 'blow their own trumpet' can be mistaken for lack of confidence or competence.

10. Modesty rules: The art of self-effacement in English society

While the English are no more naturally modest or self-effacing than other cultures – if anything, we are inclined to be rather arrogant – we do put a high value on these qualities, and have a number of unwritten rules prescribing at least the appearance of modesty.

False modesty is a social virtue. The English value of modesty extends beyond mere politeness; it's a complex social performance that requires careful navigation. Key aspects of English modesty include:

• Rules of English modesty:
  • Downplaying one's achievements and abilities
  • Deflecting compliments with self-deprecating humor
  • Avoiding overt displays of wealth or status
  • Criticizing perceived boastfulness in others

This culture of modesty can be both a strength and a weakness. While it can create a more egalitarian social atmosphere and discourage arrogance, it can also lead to genuine achievements being undervalued and talented individuals being overlooked. The art of being appropriately modest is a crucial social skill in English society, one that requires a delicate balance between self-effacement and quiet confidence.

Last updated: October 23, 2024