Sex Yourself

1. Embrace solo sex as a healthy, natural form of self-expression

"Masturbation: The primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century, it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure."

Breaking taboos. Solo sex has been stigmatized throughout history, but modern research recognizes its numerous health benefits. Masturbation can improve sleep quality, reduce stress, prevent depression, provide pain relief, boost sexual confidence, and strengthen the immune system. It's a safe, rewarding way to explore your sexuality and tune into your own body.

Self-care practice. Regular self-pleasure is an important aspect of overall well-being. It allows you to discover what feels good for you, which can enhance both solo and partnered sexual experiences. By embracing masturbation as a normal, healthy activity, you can develop a more positive relationship with your body and sexuality.

2. Understand your unique anatomy and erogenous zones

"The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure."

Mapping your pleasure. Understanding your anatomy is crucial for maximizing sexual pleasure. The vulva, vagina, and surrounding areas contain numerous nerve-rich structures, including:

• Clitoris (external and internal parts)
• Labia (inner and outer)
• G-spot
• A-spot
• Perineal sponge
• Vestibular bulbs

Beyond genitals. Erogenous zones extend beyond the genital area. Explore non-genital erogenous zones such as:

• Scalp and neck
• Earlobes
• Breasts and nipples
• Inner thighs
• Lower back
• Feet and toes

3. Create a relaxing environment and mindset for self-pleasure

"Seeking sexual satisfaction is a basic desire, and masturbation is our first natural sexual activity. It's the way we discover our eroticism, the way we learn to respond sexually, the way we learn to love ourselves and to build self-esteem."

Set the stage. Create a comfortable, private space for self-exploration. Consider factors like:

• Temperature
• Lighting
• Music or ambient sounds
• Scents (candles, essential oils)
• Soft textures (sheets, pillows)

Mental preparation. Relaxation is key to arousal and pleasure. Try these techniques:

• Deep breathing exercises
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Positive affirmations or mantras
• Mindfulness meditation
• Sensual visualization

4. Master various techniques for clitoral, vaginal, and anal stimulation

"Sex is a skill, and like anything else, the more you learn, the more satisfying it becomes."

Clitoral techniques. Experiment with different strokes, pressures, and rhythms:

• Circular motions
• Up-and-down or side-to-side movements
• Tapping or pulsing
• Indirect stimulation through the hood

Vaginal exploration. Discover internal pleasure spots:

• G-spot stimulation (curving fingers or toys upward)
• A-spot stimulation (deeper penetration)
• Combining internal and external stimulation

Anal play. If interested, start slowly with external stimulation and gradually explore internal sensations:

• Use plenty of lubricant
• Start with small, smooth toys or fingers
• Combine with other forms of stimulation

5. Incorporate sex toys to enhance solo and partnered experiences

"Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person."

Toy selection. Choose toys based on your preferences and needs:

• Vibrators (clitoral, internal, or dual-stimulation)
• Dildos (various shapes, sizes, and materials)
• Anal toys (plugs, beads)
• Texture-based toys (feathers, ticklers)

Safety first. Consider these factors when selecting and using toys:

• Body-safe materials (silicone, glass, metal)
• Proper cleaning and storage
• Compatibility with lubricants
• Appropriate size and shape for intended use

6. Spice up your solo sex routine with novelty and creativity

"Masturbation offers the perfect opportunity to expand your fantasy life."

Engage your imagination. Explore different fantasies and scenarios:

• Role-playing
• Power dynamics
• Forbidden encounters
• Sensual locations

Sensory exploration. Incorporate various sensory experiences:

• Temperature play (ice cubes, warm massage oil)
• Texture play (silk, leather, feathers)
• Visual stimulation (erotic literature, films)
• Auditory arousal (music, erotic audio stories)

7. Cultivate a positive body image and self-confidence

"Sexy is completely subjective; it comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages."

Self-acceptance. Embrace your unique body and its changes throughout life:

• Focus on what your body can do, not just how it looks
• Practice positive self-talk and affirmations
• Surround yourself with diverse, body-positive imagery

Sensual self-care. Treat your body with kindness and respect:

• Regular exercise and movement
• Nourishing, pleasurable foods
• Relaxing baths or massages
• Wearing clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable

8. Develop strategies to achieve more intense and frequent orgasms

"The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm."

Orgasm enhancers. Try these techniques to intensify your climax:

• Edging (bringing yourself close to orgasm, then backing off)
• Kegel exercises to strengthen pelvic floor muscles
• Combining different types of stimulation
• Experimenting with breath work and sound

Overcoming obstacles. Address common barriers to orgasm:

• Performance anxiety
• Distracting thoughts
• Physical discomfort or pain
• Medication side effects

9. Bridge the gap between solo and partnered sexual experiences

"You can't 'give' someone an orgasm. If and when an orgasm happens for you, your partner will be a lucky accomplice and witness to a beautiful, powerful event."

Self-knowledge is power. Apply what you've learned about your body to partnered sex:

• Communicate your preferences and boundaries
• Show your partner how you like to be touched
• Incorporate solo techniques into partnered play

Mutual exploration. Engage in activities that combine solo and partnered pleasure:

• Mutual masturbation
• Watching each other self-pleasure
• Using toys together

10. Communicate openly with your partner about sexual desires and needs

"Communication is the most effective erotic technique of all."

Breaking the ice. Initiate conversations about sex and masturbation:

• Choose a relaxed, non-sexual setting
• Use "I" statements to express your feelings and desires
• Be specific about what you enjoy and want to explore

Ongoing dialogue. Make sexual communication a regular part of your relationship:

• Check in about likes, dislikes, and new ideas
• Discuss boundaries and consent
• Share fantasies and desires
• Celebrate successes and pleasurable experiences together

Last updated: July 17, 2024