Present Over Perfect

1. Embrace simplicity and presence over perfection

Present over perfect living is real over image, connecting over comparing, meaning over mania, depth over artifice.

Shift your focus. Recognize that the pursuit of perfection often leads to exhaustion, disconnection, and a loss of joy. Instead, prioritize being present in each moment, embracing the imperfections of real life.

Simplify your surroundings. Declutter your physical space and schedule to create room for what truly matters. This may include:

• Reducing commitments
• Simplifying your wardrobe
• Streamlining your possessions

Practice mindfulness. Cultivate awareness of the present moment through simple daily practices like deep breathing, mindful eating, or spending time in nature.

2. Redefine success: Prioritize connection and meaning

It is better to be loved than admired. It is better to be truly known and seen and taken care of by a small tribe than adored by strangers who think they know you in a meaningful way.

Reevaluate your metrics. Shift away from traditional markers of success like wealth, status, or achievement. Instead, focus on cultivating deep connections, finding personal fulfillment, and living in alignment with your values.

Invest in relationships. Prioritize quality time with loved ones, nurturing friendships, and building a supportive community. This may involve:

• Regular family dinners
• Unplugged time with friends
• Participating in community events

Pursue meaningful work. Align your career or personal projects with your passions and values. Seek opportunities that allow you to make a positive impact, even if they don't offer the highest prestige or pay.

3. Learn to say "no" to reclaim your life

You don't have to sacrifice your spirit, your joy, your soul, your family, your marriage on the altar of ministry.

Recognize your limits. Understand that saying yes to everything leads to burnout and resentment. Acknowledge that you have finite time and energy, and it's okay to set boundaries.

Practice saying no. Start small by declining minor commitments, and gradually work up to bigger decisions. Some strategies include:

• Delaying your response to requests
• Using scripts like "I'm not able to commit to that right now"
• Offering alternatives or compromises when appropriate

Prioritize your values. When faced with a decision, ask yourself if it aligns with your core values and goals. Use this as a filter for determining what deserves your time and energy.

4. Cultivate stillness and silence for inner growth

When you hear it, you'll realize it sounds a lot like your own heartbeat, the rhythm of God, of life, pumping in your chest, the most beautiful song you've ever heard.

Create space for silence. Incorporate regular periods of quiet reflection into your daily routine. This could include:

• Morning meditation
• Evening journaling
• Tech-free walks in nature

Embrace solitude. Learn to be comfortable with being alone, using this time for self-discovery and personal growth. Start with short periods and gradually increase the duration.

Listen to your inner voice. In moments of stillness, pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and intuition. Practice distinguishing between your authentic self and external pressures or expectations.

5. Rediscover your essential self and passions

Hold close to your essential self. Get to know it, the way you get to know everything in the world about someone you're in love with, the way you know your child, their every freckle and preference and which cry means what.

Reflect on your past. Look back at your childhood interests, adolescent dreams, and moments when you felt most alive. Identify patterns and recurring themes that point to your core passions.

Experiment and explore. Try new activities, revisit old hobbies, and give yourself permission to play. Pay attention to what brings you joy and energy.

Shed inauthentic layers. Identify aspects of your life that feel forced or misaligned with your true self. Gradually let go of roles, habits, or relationships that no longer serve your authentic nature.

6. Nurture your body and spirit through self-care

I will never again be so careless, so cavalier with the body and soul you've given me.

Prioritize rest. Recognize the importance of adequate sleep and downtime for your physical and mental health. Establish a consistent sleep routine and create boundaries around work and leisure time.

Practice holistic self-care. Attend to your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs through activities such as:

• Regular exercise
• Healthy eating habits
• Mindfulness practices
• Engaging in hobbies or creative pursuits

Listen to your body. Pay attention to physical sensations, energy levels, and emotional cues. Respond to your body's needs with compassion and care, rather than pushing through discomfort or ignoring warning signs.

7. Build a marriage and family life that aligns with your values

We're more than we were a year ago, and a year before that.

Prioritize your relationship. Make time for regular connection with your partner, even amidst busy schedules. This could include:

• Weekly date nights
• Daily check-ins
• Annual getaways

Create family rituals. Establish traditions and routines that foster connection and reflect your values. Examples might include:

• Family game nights
• Seasonal celebrations
• Shared hobbies or activities

Communicate openly. Practice honest, vulnerable communication with your partner and children. Address challenges and conflicts as they arise, working together to find solutions that honor everyone's needs.

8. Embrace vulnerability and authenticity in relationships

Because that's what friendship is. That's what it does.

Share your true self. Allow yourself to be seen, flaws and all, by those closest to you. This might involve:

• Expressing your fears and insecurities
• Asking for help when needed
• Admitting mistakes and apologizing

Create safe spaces. Foster environments where others feel comfortable being vulnerable. Practice active listening, empathy, and non-judgmental support.

Cultivate deep friendships. Invest time and energy in building meaningful connections with a small group of close friends. Prioritize quality over quantity in your relationships.

9. Let go of others' expectations and live your truth

You can live on a farm or out of a backpack. You can work from your kitchen or in a high-rise. You can worship in your living room or a cathedral. Isn't that beautiful? And exciting? And so full of freedom?

Identify external pressures. Recognize the sources of expectations in your life, whether from family, society, or your own internalized beliefs. Question which of these truly align with your values and aspirations.

Define your own path. Take time to reflect on what success and fulfillment mean to you personally. Create a vision for your life that resonates with your authentic self, even if it diverges from conventional norms.

Practice self-acceptance. Embrace your unique qualities, quirks, and imperfections. Celebrate your strengths and compassionately acknowledge your limitations. Remember that your worth is not determined by others' opinions or societal standards.

Last updated: August 19, 2024