It. Goes. So. Fast.

1. Time with children is precious and fleeting

You blink and the finish line is in sight. Young parents, listen to me: It. Goes. So. Fast.

Cherish every moment. As children grow, the opportunities to be present in their lives become increasingly rare. From the early years of constant demands to the teenage years of growing independence, each stage presents unique challenges and joys. Parents often find themselves torn between work commitments and the desire to attend every game, concert, and milestone event.

Guilt is a common companion. Many working parents, especially mothers, struggle with feelings of inadequacy and missed opportunities. However, it's important to recognize that quality time matters more than quantity. Being fully present and engaged during the time spent together can create lasting memories and strong bonds.

Prepare for the transition. As children approach adulthood, parents must navigate the delicate balance of providing support while allowing independence. This phase can be emotionally challenging, as the realization sets in that the daily routines and interactions that once defined family life are coming to an end.

2. Balancing career and family requires difficult choices

I was a journalist before I was a parent. It is in my bones. But while there are many people who can report the news, there is only one person on this planet who can be mother to my children.

Prioritize what matters most. For many professionals, especially those in demanding careers like journalism, the conflict between work and family is constant. It often requires making tough decisions about which events or opportunities to pursue and which to let go.

Flexibility is key. Finding ways to adapt work schedules, negotiate with employers, and create boundaries can help maintain a healthy work-life balance. This may involve:

• Taking extended leaves of absence
• Requesting flexible working hours
• Turning down assignments that conflict with important family events

Redefine success. Recognizing that success isn't solely measured by career achievements can help alleviate guilt and pressure. Finding fulfillment in both professional and personal realms often requires a shift in perspective and a willingness to make compromises.

3. Hearing loss impacts relationships and communication

Being a mother has changed which stories feel worth telling. My twenty-something self might have showed up to interview Hopko armed with the latest, coolest high-tech recorder, but she would never have pressed on the guinea pig line of questioning.

Adapt and persevere. Hearing loss can significantly affect personal and professional relationships, requiring patience and creativity to maintain effective communication. For journalists and others who rely heavily on verbal interactions, this challenge can be particularly daunting.

Embrace technology and support. Utilizing hearing aids, assistive devices, and support from family and colleagues can help overcome communication barriers. It's important to:

• Be open about hearing difficulties
• Ask for accommodations when needed
• Stay updated on advancements in hearing technology

Find new perspectives. Hearing loss can also bring unexpected benefits, such as a heightened appreciation for non-verbal cues and a deeper understanding of the importance of clear, intentional communication.

4. Strong friendships endure and evolve over time

What I find myself wanting to do in these last moments of their childhood is to go quiet and listen. To listen with no agenda, no judgment—only love.

Nurture long-term connections. Friendships formed in college or early adulthood can provide a strong support system throughout life's challenges and transitions. These relationships often evolve to become a chosen family, offering understanding and shared experiences that span decades.

Make time for connection. Despite busy schedules and geographic distances, maintaining friendships requires effort and prioritization. Regular check-ins, annual gatherings, and shared traditions can help keep bonds strong.

Embrace changing dynamics. As life circumstances change, friendships may shift in intensity or frequency of contact. However, true friends can often pick up where they left off, providing comfort and familiarity even after long absences.

5. Running connects generations and provides solace

My father taught me to be a runner. He taught me to mix a mean Manhattan. He taught me to keep going, to try my hardest, to never give up.

Find physical and emotional release. Running can serve as both a physical exercise and a form of meditation, providing an outlet for stress and a way to process complex emotions. For many, it becomes a lifelong practice that evolves with changing life circumstances.

Create family traditions. Shared activities like running can become powerful connectors across generations, creating opportunities for bonding and passing on values. These traditions can:

• Foster a sense of belonging and continuity
• Provide a framework for processing grief and loss
• Offer a way to honor loved ones who have passed

Embrace the metaphor. The act of running – putting one foot in front of the other, persevering through discomfort – can serve as a powerful metaphor for life's challenges, teaching resilience and determination.

6. Covering war zones brings both purpose and conflict

There are many ways to tell the story of a war. But one of the best is to go there, find the ordinary people whose lives have been upended, and listen.

Balance professional duty and personal risk. War correspondents often grapple with the tension between their commitment to telling important stories and the dangers inherent in conflict zones. This can be particularly challenging for parents, who must weigh professional obligations against family responsibilities.

Focus on human stories. Effective war reporting goes beyond military strategy and political maneuvering to reveal the human cost of conflict. This approach can:

• Make distant events relatable to audiences
• Highlight the universal aspects of human experience
• Inspire empathy and action

Recognize the emotional toll. Covering war and human suffering can have lasting psychological impacts. It's crucial for journalists to:

• Develop coping strategies
• Seek support when needed
• Recognize when to step back or take breaks

7. Family dynamics shift as children become adults

James had scored the goal of his life, a goal he would never forget—and I had once again failed to show up.

Navigate changing roles. As children grow into adults, parents must adapt to new dynamics, finding ways to support and connect without overstepping boundaries. This transition can be both exciting and challenging, requiring flexibility and open communication.

Accept missed moments. Despite best efforts, parents will inevitably miss some important events in their children's lives. It's crucial to:

• Forgive oneself for these absences
• Focus on being present when possible
• Find alternative ways to show support and interest

Embrace new forms of connection. As children become more independent, relationships with parents often evolve into more adult friendships. This can bring new joys and opportunities for deeper understanding and appreciation.

8. Marriage can end, but parental love endures

I sense that everything—everything as I know it—is about to change.

Face change with courage. The end of a long-term marriage can be devastating, especially when it coincides with other major life transitions. It requires strength to navigate the emotional turmoil while maintaining stability for children.

Prioritize co-parenting. Despite the pain of separation, focusing on the well-being of children can provide:

• A sense of purpose and continuity
• A framework for cooperation with an ex-spouse
• An opportunity to model resilience and healthy coping strategies

Redefine family. As family structures change, it's important to:

• Maintain open communication with children
• Create new traditions and routines
• Emphasize that love remains constant, even as circumstances change

Last updated: October 23, 2024